Being a billionaire used to be hard. About a decade ago, the media used to run dreadful things like the Panama Papers, or stories Vodafone being let off with £6 billion in tax or Google and Amazon just plain not paying any.
It was all looking rather hairy. If Corbyn, Sanders or Scottish independence had won, I might have gone from a multi billionaire to just a multi millionaire!
That’s when we discovered the best keep rich quick scheme: divert attention to small boats.
Step 1: Buy up the TV and papers. Run mind-corroding hate at a loss.
Step 2: Get that media to just make shit up. Anyone remotely kind or decent who enters politics should be forced to explain that ‘no, migrants don’t eat dogs’ instead of describing any future that doesn’t have your wealth in it.
Step 3: Distract, distract, distract.
Someone points out you pay less tax than a cleaner? Point at the small boats.
Someone points out that social media platform you own has caused a genocide? Small boats.
Your shares in fossil fuels threaten the extinction of most life on Earth? Small boats.
Step 4: Laugh like fuck when the stupid bastards believe it. YouGov polling itself shows “Almost half of Britons (47%) think there are more migrants staying in the UK illegally rather than legally … [and] crucially, this view is held by 72% of those who want to see mass removals. However, these perceptions appear to be wide of the mark.” (NB: This is a real quotation, and is neither havers nor pish)
Step 5: Bankroll a fascist government into power. Whatever remains of public services will be privatised to fund ICE with a Union flag on it. And who’ll buy them? Well, given that you are the only cunt with any money, you!
Won’t running them be stressful? Nah, just let people die without healthcare.
If anyone points out it is your fault?
Small boats, small boats, small boats!
