We are facing, in many parts of the Republic, Galactic collapse. People are scared to go down to the shops. Scared to let their kids out.
So I want to be clear that I, Palpatine, will be the toughest Chancellor on crime that this galaxy has ever seen. We will aim to cut crime by half in the first five years of a Galactic Empire. We will take back control of our galaxy. I am putting you on notice that as from 2029 (or whenever I can engineer a coup) either you obey the law, or you face very serious justice.
Perhaps the biggest pledge we would make today is to add 30,000 more stormtroopers over a 5-year term. We will scrap all diversity, equality and inclusion roles. You can’t say anything about fucking Ewoks these days.
And we will aim for a higher, and physically tougher, standard of stormtrooper. I think, that if rebels fear the stormtroopers, that is a desirable place for us to be as a galaxy.
We would look to imprison 30,000 more rebel scum. We will build Nightingale prisons. You remember the Nightingale hospitals? We will use the logistical skills that exist amongst the stormtroopers to make this happen.
Once we privatise the Galactic Health Service, we can send anyone who dare rebels to the planet of El Tatooine.
The Republic is not what is once was. Our best choice would be to push for the election of a stronger chancellor – one who could control the bureaucrats.
Not all crime is bad. To those of you rioting outside the hotels hosting interplanetary refugees I say good! Use your aggressive feelings! Let the hate flow through you.
By standing up, by saying these things, we are striking a chord with the vast majority of the Galactic public. When it is already possible to be arrested for holding up a cartoon from the magazine Private Eye, there is nothing to worry about when the party leading in the polls proposes abolishing the Human Rights Act followed by mass incarceration.
The Galaxy has nothing to fear from Reform.
