The White House has denounced “fake news interpretations” of an “ambiguous” birthday note given by daughter-fancier Donald Trump to the late beast Jeffrey Epstein.
The note, written in the shape of a prepubescent fanny, reads:
“Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am a paedophile
You are one too
In a Russian hotel
I had only one wish
Enigmas never age
And neither does pish
One day I’ll put
Pennies on your eyelids
Jeffrey, I’m joking
Let’s go fuck some kids”
White House Press Secretary, Karoline Leavitt, wiped the ching from her nostrils, straightened up her jacket and berated the fake news media:
“You’re reading too much into it. Those comments could mean anything. Don’t you know enigmas never age?”
“That note is a fake. Biden wouldn’t release it because it was a fake and he is a liar. We wouldn’t release because it is a fake and we are telling the truth. Got it?”
Leavitt returned to her office to lovingly stroke a photo of Dr Goebbels, asking it “Did I do you proud, Joseph?” in a gentle but eager tone.
Havers & Pish tried to get a quote from convicted felon Trump, but couldn’t. With any luck, that means the rumours are true and the cunt’s deid.
