Thick-skinned couchophile JD Vance’s lovechild was spotted golfing in Scotland. The furniture-sapian turned MAGA posterchild took in the splendour of United States’ Führer Donald Trump’s Turnberry golf course in the pishing rain yesterday evening.
Captivated locals shared their experiences of trans-sofa child “Am Ah fuck talkin’ to youse. After Vance KB’ed some boy fae Norway for a meme, whit dae yi think he’ll dae if Ah say any’hing about his sofa wayne? It’s like Ah said tae ma two when they wanted to go on that Palestine protest: you huf tae get yir priorities right if yi want tae go tae Disneyland” said delighted local Moira Boak.
“Some cunt should put that hing doon,” enthused Stevie Cormack, “Ahm pretty sure that Ah seen it jizz ower the Trump sign, but they’ll just say it was foam fae his sofa half”.
JD Vance, a 40 year-old spliced with a baby, will grace Scotland with his hillbilly energy later this year.
For the record, Havers and Pish has said thank you once.
